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The debate in many towns continues throughout this country about who should hold the responsibility of educating young people about sex and sexuality. On one side of the spectrum there are those who believe that parents and only parents should be teaching such sensitive and value-fill information to kids. On the other side, there are those who say that not enough education is being done in the home and that the schools need to step up and do the right thing by kids.
To further the debate and increase its complexity is the question about what exactly kids need to know and when. President Bush has issued his own view on the matter by granting government funding for those schools and programs that provide “abstinent only” education, meaning that there is no discussion about anything but abstaining from sex until marriage. Many people believe, and most research proves, that this message severely short changes children and could potentially set them up for making bad and or even life threatening decisions.
Many parents that I talk to believe in comprehensive education (talking about all aspects of sex and sexuality including abstinence), and are always comforted to hear that research is firm in showing that kids want to hear it from their parents and often make better choices when they have had those parental conversations.
But…..parents as sex educators…. This prospect for some is almost as frightening as the concept of kids having sex. Take it from me; it doesn’t have to be frightening. There is so much information available that anyone, even parents, can do a great job. There are just a few things to keep in mind in order to be successful.
A. Be honest and open. The rule is that if a kid asks a question, he got the idea from somewhere and needs to have an age appropriate response. Ignoring the question or telling a child that he/she shouldn’t be asking about such things sends the message that certain questions are off limits and they will take those questions elsewhere, school friends for example, who don’t always have the correct answers or have the family values that you would want articulated in mind. Keep in mind the "age appropriate" part of this tip. As parents we don't want our kids to know to much to soon, but developmentally, they may be more advanced and ready to hear more than you think. If you aren't sure, look it up.
B. It is ok to share your values and morals and what you expect for your family. I think that often parents feel like they can’t express their own expectations for their children when they educate about sexuality. You can talk about methods of pregnancy and disease prevention at the same time that you are talking about abstinence and relationship building. One is not exclusive of the other.
C. It is also ok to set limits and boundaries where you need. Talking about a penis in the middle of the grocery store is not appropriate. Those types of situations can easily be handled by telling a child that his or her question is valid and important, but would be much better dealt with at home. The thing to remember here is that you must go back to your child with the question when you said you would. Thinking that your child will just forget and you’ll be off the hook does nothing for your credibility. And trust me, your kids will not forget, they will just remind you that you forgot when it suits their needs.
D. Often times a parent will get a question about a topic or a situation that they are not comfortable with or have very little information about. It is critical for parents to know and believe that they do not have to be experts in sex education. They must be able to, however, know their limits and know where to get the resources they need to refer their children for the right answers. It is also ok to admit to your child that you aren’t the best person to talk about this topic, but that you know the person who is.
E. As difficult as it may be, it is also important to completely understand what your child is asking and why he/she is asking the question. I heard a story once that a little girl asked her Dad what secs was. Hearing this, Dad automatically assumed that she was asking about sex and went into his whole birds and bees lecture. When he was finished he asked his daughter why she had asked the question. The young daughter stated that mom said that dinner would be done in a couple of secs. She just wanted to know what that meant. Clarifying the question is vital to making sure that you are answering their questions thoroughly and completely.
F. Bone up on your own education. It is not enough that your children know about the latest method of birth control, you should also know. Know what it is that kids are talking about and thinking about when it comes to sexuality. Go to teen websites, read teen magazines, have conversations with your kids. The more information you have the better you can educate your kids.
G. Take advantage of teachable moments. Kids won’t always want to talk to their parents. Especially if you haven’t set up your home environment this way. So you may have to bring up a subject out of the blue. Use situations that you see on television shows or articles that you have read to get kids opinions. Ask them what they think. Share with them what you think and why. For example, you are watching the latest episode of The Bachelor. Ask you child how they feel about having intimate relationships with so many people in such a short time. Discuss the messages that you think the show sends, find out what messages your child is receiving. How do they feel about group dates? Anything to open up those lines of communication.
So, what do you do when the big day comes and your child asks you a tough question? You can start by using the C.A.L.M. method of answering.
C- Clarify the question. Ask the child why the question is being asked. Where did the topic come up? What does the child know about the topic or what does he/she think the answers are. This will definitely make sure that you are staying on the right track.
A- Answer the question basically. I like to think about building blocks when answering tough questions. You start with the most basic answer and then build on that answering from the next level and so on. Try to avoid the tendency to lecture. Kids, especially young ones, rarely listen to a long explanation; they only are listening for they think they want to hear. This could become problematic in that kids will not hear the correct answer or they will interpret incorrectly what you have said.
L- Listen to your child response. By answering basically you allow your child to let you know if he/she got the complete answer they were looking for. If they ask you another question, you know you need to go to the next building block. Don’t forget to watch for body language too. Some children may not have the words to ask more questions. But you know your child and you will know when his body language shows that he isn’t clear or in completion with your answer.
M- Motivate your child to continue to feel comfortable to ask more questions. Letting kids know that you are a safe person to come back to and that you will continue to answer their questions will keep them doing so.
We all want to do what is best for our kids, and for most of us, their safety is priority one. Use these tips to approach sexuality education in your own home with confidence!
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‘Big Chest and the Lion’ [Prelude to After Eve II: Big Chest]
By Dennis L. Siluk
The Man-eaters, as they were known, otherwise called the lions, jaguars, tigers of the ancient days, were not much different than, the new breed, so named by Short-legs as “The Stone-Builder’s,” the reason being, they had no second thoughts about killing the members of the Horde, nor the Branch-People; rather they seemed to harbor thoughts and acts as if they were summoned to do so, a duty that had to be announced; thus, all the inhabitants in these two areas were beastly trophies to them. The Folk in the Horde, along with several others of the Branch-People were terrified in a way of the new invaders of the land, the new neighbors, and their fathomless predator style of hunting. They were a threat more serious than the famine or the plague that had vanquished the land in the past.
◊
I had seen one time Big-chest walk into a campsite of theirs, the Stone-Builders that is, I tried to tell this story to my brother Stern-toes, once, but I never could explain it right, but I think he got the jest of it, if not the seriousness, we did both laugh at the Stone-builders for hours on end, afterwards. As I was about to say, Short-legs and Little-eyes witnessed this whole happening from a distance of course. The Stone-Builders were full of what they called ‘wone, or wine,” something along that order, some sounds take me back a bit, they had new sounds all the time, ones never heard of before their arrival on the scene. Well, Big-chest, noticed in the evening, they had killed a man-either; there were four of them at a campfire, just laughing, and drinking, and being playful like a group of little cubs. Actually they did get a little over physical with one another, like the wild boars after one of us, wanting to eat us for dinner, and then settled down again. It was winter so there was a chill in the air, and not much leafy trees to hide us, but we remained in the distant woods nonetheless, with a pile of leaves at our knees in case we needed to camouflage ourselves more.
As always, Big-chest was confident of his abilities, he stood in the woods, no shadow, just a big blob of muscle, fuzzy hair and sharp beady small squinty eyes, pinned on the four individuals, and their lion. He was actually blocking our vision a bit, but I think he did that because he wanted to show his audience, who was the king. Then unsuspected, he walked into the camp, among the four, he had seen their weapons by the fire, where the lion was. He was swaying his body like huge trees in a storm. Closer and closer he came to the fire, no one noticed, can’t figure it out, could they not hear him, for I could, way back in the woods. His fingers almost touching the ground, he had long thick arms, fingers, and perturbing muscles. Then all of a sudden two of the four turned their necks to see what was in back of them, and almost went into shock, the other two stood up, all four were some fifteen feet from their weapons. The two who were squatting, were closest to the fire, the other two where a little farther away, standing, I think one was releasing himself, he made a puddle and was trying to cover it up, we just went, wherever, and whenever we had to.
Big-chest took his right hand, hit the head of one of the squatters as he was about to stand, and his head flopped like a dead fish out of water; flopping back and forth, as if to jump back into the creek. The other one tried to get to his weapon, but Big-chest picked him up by one leg, his penis showing, they all liked covering them up for some reason, and Big-chest just laughed, and tossed him into the fire, after twisting him about for a few seconds, breaking the leg in several places I expect. Then one of the two standing routed himself through the woods yelling something like, “hhhh eel pppp...!!” Not sure what that meant. The last one, I call him the brave one, pulled out a sharp object, about the length of his hand, and stood in front of Big-chest as if he was going to fight him. He looked similar to a banana compared to him. I asked myself, ‘is he crazy, run! And run fast, while you can.’ Big-chest just looked dumfounded at the figure in front of him, and picked him up, picked up the seven food lionesses, and put her over his shoulder, the crazy Stone-Builder charged at him during this event and Big-chest with a quick turn, knocked the man on the ground with the man-eater still well balanced over his shoulder. Then like a dead fish, he kicked him in the mid section, sweeping him into the fire. He could not move.
Early winter
We had no way of knowing which winter would be good to us or bad for us, and winter this one year had come early, and therefore our food supply was depleted rather quickly. When Little-eyes and I returned back to the cave that evening we had told in our symbolic way, at the Banana Cave, the entire horde how Big-chest killed the Eve people. And you could hear the laughing for miles around. I think Big-chest had taken his trophy to a cave in our area, and was having dinner at the time. We liked anyone who could out smart the Stone-people, they were smug and we were helpless compared to them, most of the time. And so it felt good if anything. But our surprise would come in the morning.
Morning
In the morning when several of us looked out our cave, in the center of the canyon style area, we seen half a lion torn open, in the center, it was a treasure, and all of us quickly ran to eat what meat Big-chest had left for us. Big-chest was not always so generous, but for some odd reason, he knew we were starving for some protean, and our bodies where starting to show our ribs. Aimless to say, this never happened again, but we all gave Big-chest a smile as we walked proudly out of our cave-canyon.
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Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. This ancient proverb correctly distinguishes characteristics of men from women. A woman like Venus seems shining, gentle, attractive, clam and seductive. While Mars, the god of war, red like a burning coal, powerful like a monster, is associated with men. Men are aggressive while women are generally calm is an eternal truth. Almost all men have killer instinct and tendency to show power in every sphere of life. Men like to show a glimpse of their power during sexual relations too. Though, feminist are strictly against the concept, but more than 90 percent women want their partner playing stronger and harder in bed.
For playing hard in bed a man must get strong erection of penis. Erection of penis is a natural capability of every adult man, which he gets under sexual stimulation. In latter phase of life, a majority of men lose the capability of penile erection. This problem has ruined out the marital life of millions. The sexual counterpart of the man suffering from non erection of penis is always sexually dissatisfied. Many divorces everyday, all over the world, take place because of sexual dissatisfaction of women. If for some reason divorce doesn’t take place, even then a wide trench always exists between husband and wife although they are on the same bed. If you are feeling the pain of this problem in your life, then reading article further can be helpful for you.
When a man comes across real or imaginary visible sexual stimulation, erection causing enzyme secretes in his body. This enzyme increases the flow of blood towards penis. Blood filled penile capillaries like an air inflated balloon make the penis stiffer and bigger in size. Erection causing enzyme is known as GMP. The lower level of this enzyme makes it difficult to get proper erection. There is another enzyme PDE-5, which is secreted just after achieving orgasm. This enzyme nullifies the effect of erection causing enzymes and brings back penis in relaxed position. Sometimes PDE-5 is secreted earlier than the time and the affected man loses erection of penis in between the sexual intercourse. The problems caused by these two hormonal disorders are collectively known as Erectile Dysfunction.
The name of a proper treatment of erectile dysfunction is Levitra. The active salt, Vardenafil Hydrochloride, of Levitra efficiently rectifies the deformities in level and timing of above mentioned sexual enzymes. In this way, it helps in achieving proper erection of penis. Levitra is an oral prescription medication and it comes in volumes of 10mg and 20mg. Generally 20 mg pill of Levitra is prescribed by doctors. A single pill of Levitra should be taken half an hour before sexual encounter. This is only a general pattern of dosage. For finding out right volume and correct pattern of pill, according to personal physical condition, a doctor must be consulted. Levitra can cause some side effects; so it should be taken only on doctor’s advice. If doctor prescribes and his guidelines obeyed strictly then there is generally no harm in using this medication.
If ED has already dissolved bitterness in your relations, then ask your doctor today for Levitra. Buy Levitra through an online order and reunite Mars and Venus tonight.
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Dial 1-800/AIDSNYC
Every Monday and Wednesday morning, promptly at 10 a.m., I leave behind my daily life and turn to volunteering as an AIDS Hotline counselor at New York City’s GMHC [Gay Men’s Health Crisis], the nation’s largest social service agency for AIDS.
For the next four hours, my co-volunteers and I sit in front of a bank of constantly-ringing telephones, talking to men, women, and teens who call in from across the nation with urgent questions about AIDS, the ravaging disease that has left 13.9 million people dead worldwide.
After almost 20 years, a whole generation, families are still facing the heartache of tending the sick, while scientists continue to be confounded by this stubborn, ravaging virus.
Although the federal government currently spends$4 billion per year on AIDS research, and $15 billion worldwide, there is no cure in sight for the viral infection and no vaccine available. Small wonder that the GMHC AIDS Hotline, the nation’s first, is flooded with more than 40,000 calls each year.
Listening to callers 8 hours each week, I often think the Hotline is actually a direct link to the soul of callers--an anonymous forum that allows each to reveal secrets and fears that they might otherwise never discuss with anyone. A Morning in May
This is the way it began: “Good morning, GMHC AIDS Hotline, can I help you?”
“Yes...I have a question...[hesitantly] My son...he’s 21...and he just found out...he’s HIV-positive [voice breaking] I’m.....alone, divorced. And I need some help...someone to talk to...”
“Of course....happy to talk to you...it sounds like this has been devastating for you....”
“It’s terrible. He told me two nights ago....he’s...he’s so young....I don’t want him to die. He’s my only child....why did this have to happen?” [crying]
Her son, she explains, had sometimes neglected using condoms, convinced he wouldn’t contract HIV infection from his female partners.
“How could he be so stupid?” she now asks angrily. “Why didn’t he know how to protect himself? I don’t understand. What am I going to do?”
We talk for 35 minutes, and by the end of the conversation, I notice I’m barely breathing. The distraught woman’s anguish is palpable. Her situation is every mother’s worst nightmare.The life of her child is in jeopardy and she feels helpless and afraid. I can’t imagine anything worse.
During the call, I do my best to employ the GMHC Hotline protocol of “active listening,” which involves using silence, empathy and gentle probing with open-ended questions. I’m also having my own emotional reaction to the panic in her voice, and I’m worried about whether I’m doing enough.
Toward the end of the clal, when she exclaims: “I don’t want my baby to die,” my heart plummets: “I know....I understand that, but there is hope,” I tell her. I find myself on the verge of tears. The Bad News
This mother’s story is too common. According to the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta, Ga., 40,000 Americans (half of them under 25) are newly infected with the AIDS virus each year. Unprotected sex and intravenous drug use remain the principal modes of transmission.
“Teenagers,” notes AIDS activist Elizabeth Taylor, “are being very hard hit.” She refers to the three million adolescents who contract a sexually-transmitted disease annually.
“Heterosexual teenage football players who are healthy and drink milk can get it too!” says the 71-year-old actress, who has singlehandedly raised $150 million for AIDS research. “But teens are very ignorant and feel invincible. They believe there’s an invisible shield protecting them from the virus, when it’s actually aimed right at them.”
Taylor believes in addressing the problem head-on: “Tell your teenage son: ‘Maybe a condom doesn’t feel as good, but if it saves your life, it’s better than being six feet under.’ Intelligence must replace random sex.”
Although a new generation of AIDS-fighting medications is prolonging the lives of thousands, nearly half of the 900,000 people infected with HIV in the U.S. cannot afford these drugs. Since the virus was discovered in l981, 410,800 Americans have died from AIDS-related complications, and the disease has left 13.9 million dead worldwide.
Who Calls a Hotline?
Not long ago I took a call from a 15-year-old boy living in a small town who said he feels guilty about his sexual attraction to other boys and is scared to discuss this with his parents. I ask him if there’s a school counselor or relative he might talk to, but he says he’s too afraid to confide in anyone.
Being a teenager is hard enough, I thought, without the pressure of keeping this kind of secret. I felt angry and saddened that this child can’t comfortably discuss his feelings with his own parents.
I encourage him to call the Gay Community Center Youth Program in a nearby city. In the meantime, I assured him that he could call our Hotline anytime, that we’d be there for him.
This call was typical of the many we get from teenagers,whispering from their parents’ homes, confiding their blossoming sexual feelings and concerns. Our Hotline also receives calls from married men who phone from their offices, worried about extramarital sexual encounters; gay men suffering side effects from medications; mothers caring for a sick child or grieving for one lost to AIDS; even health care professionals themselves confused and requiring burnout support.
One particular morning, I’m struck by the number of single women who turn to our hotline for help. At 10:15 a.m. a distraught young woman calls, explaining that she had been dating someone “very charismatic,” after a two- year period of sexual abstinence.
“At first we used condoms and I was taking the pill to avoid pregnancy,” she says. But after her partner assured her he was HIV-negative, the couple began having unprotected sex. A few months into the relationship, she recounts, his behavior became “unpredictable,” until he finally admitted he was sleeping with other women and was addicted to heroin. Now she has to withstand the “terror” of waiting 3 months before getting an HIV antibody test. To help her cope, I give her the names of three terapists in her area. The call lasts 43 minutes.
At 11:15 a.m. I take a call from a woman who is breathing heavily. She says that four months earlier she’d had a brief affair with a limousine driver, “not out of passion, but because I felt lonely. This was so totally unlike me,” she continues. “I come from a traditional Orthodox Jewish family...” Although they used condoms, and she has since tested negative for HIV, she feels deeply ashamed, and has stopped seeing him. And because she has both a persistent vaginal yeast infection and a rash on her neck, she’s convinced she must be infected by HIV.
Although rashes, high fever, swollen lymph glands, heavy night sweats, sore throat, or other flu-like symptoms may indicate HIV, they can just as easily accompany the common cold or flu, or other type of infection. I encourage her to seek medical help and counseling, but the calls ends on a down note. “I must have it [AIDS],” she moans. I’m exasperated because it doesn’t sound that way to me, yet I can’t get through to her. The call lasts 22 minutes.
It’s 11.38 a.m. when a well-spoken woman, who says she’s an attorney, calls from her office, asking for the names of anonymous testing sites. At first very businesslike, she calmly takes down all the information. I ask her why she’s considering a test. Total silence. Then she begins to cry: “I....I can’t talk....I’m sorry...you see, I have swollen lymph glands....[crying]....And my doctor wants to rule out HIV...I feel overwhelmed...” Then, abruptly: “Where can I send a donation?” She thanks me and hurries off the phone after just 3 minutes.
These were one-time callers, but, as in any epidemic, an element of panic prevails, and our hotline also attracts an army of “chronic” or repeat callers who are intensely fearful no matter how benign their risk, many revealing continued misconceptions and paranoia about a disease that can be effectively prevented. We do our best to help them, but often they’re impervious to counseling.
Most poignant are calls we get from AIDS patients, phoning from their hospital beds, attempting to navigate the exhausting labyrinth of insurance and health care matters. One man, in hospice care, said he craved companionship and missed the “good old days” when he was handsome and healthy.
That call was a tough one for me as just the day before a close friend of mine, Joe, who had battled HIV for 16 years, had finally succumbed. Although at the end Joe was a mere skeleton, he was nonetheless at peace. “I’ve done what I wanted to,” he told me on our last visit. An avid gardener, he insisted on a final trip to his country house to see his garden one last time. For a moment the caller’s reality and the memory of my deceased friend blurred in my mind and I was overcome. Time for a break.
Face to Face
One of the most and unique services GMHC offers is called “A-Team Counseling,” a one-time, in-person session that’s free and anonymous.
Recently, I was on an A-Team counselling a 26-year-old HIV-infected mother from the Midwest. She had traveled to Manhattan by bus to find her estranged boyfriend, who, she recounted tearfully, had kidnapped her 7-year- old son. Disheveled, painfully thin, the woman was a disturbing sight. She’s learned that the two had already returned home where the boyfriend was, and the child put in his grandmother’s custory. custody of his grandmother. Meanwhile she’d run out of money for the return trip, been refused a loan by her family, lost her ID, gone hungry and spent two nights on the street.
Fortunately, this woman was registered at a local AIDS organization in her town. I telephoned her caseworker and persuaded him to buy her a one-way Greyhound bus ticket for $115.00. I also gave her subway tokens, a basket of food, juice and coffee. Smiling shyly, she thanked me for caring.
Shaking hands good-bye with this woman was a bittersweet farewell. What will happen to her? I wondered will her health deteriorate or improve? Will she gain control of her life and be able to provide for her son? I’ll never know. One thing I do know: She’d appeared with the sorrow of a difficult life in her eyes, but when she left, she was elated at the thought of being reunited with her child. It seems that with faith and a helping hand, almost anything is possible. * * * * *
10 BIGGEST MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT AIDS AND HIV (This list would probably be most effective when presented in a vertical chart, the misconception on the left, the correct answer on the right.)
1)The AIDS virus can be transmitted through saliva, sweat, tears, urine or feces; also through deep kissing.
1) HIV can ONLY be transmitted through four bodily fluids: blood, semen, vaginal secretions and breast milk--and can also be transmitted from a mother to her child before birth, during birth, or while breast feeding. The exchange of saliva through kissing is no-risk, unless the saliva has blood in it and both you and your partner are bleeding in the mouth simultaneously.
2) HIV may also be transmitted through casual contact with an infected person.
2) You can’t get infected from toilet seats, phones or water fountains. The virus can’t be transmitted in the air through sneezing or coughing. You can’t get HIV from sharing utensils or food or from touching, or hugging. HIV dies after being exposed to the air. Therefore, touching dried blood on a shaving blade, a toothbrush or a bathroom counter top is no risk. In any case, unbroken skin is impermeable, like a rubber raincoat, and cannot absorb the virus whether it’s alive or dead.
Blood transfusions and medical procedures in the U.S. are safe. Giving blood is completely risk-free. The chance of getting HIV from dentists or other health care providers is too low even to measure.You can’t get it from mosquitoes or other insect or animal bites.
3) Oral sex is just as risky as vaginal or anal intercourse.
3) Although not 100% risk-free, oral sex is considered a low-risk activity,except if: you have bleeding gums, recent dental work, open sores such as a herpes lesion, any cut, blister, or burn in the mouth, or if you’ve just brushed or flossed your teeth. Also, oral sex with an infected woman is riskier if she is having her period, since menstrual blood can contain HIV. Overall, latex barriers, (such as condoms or dental dams) used during oral sex reduce the transmission of not just HIV, but other sexual transmitted diseases.
4) Animal skin, latex and polyurethane condoms are all equally effective in preventing HIV infection and you can use ANY lubrication on the condom desired.
4)Only latex or polyurethane condoms may be used, as HIV can pass through an animal skin condom. With latex condoms, only water-based lubricants--like K-Y jelly or H-R jelly--may be used. No lubricants with oil, alcohol, or grease are safe.Petroleum jelly,Vaseline, Crisco, mineral oil, baby oil, massage oil, butter and most hand creams can weaken the condom and cause it to split. However, with polyurethane condoms, petroleum-based lubricants can be used.
5) Women have to rely on men using condoms during intercourse to protect themselves against HIV. 5) Women may employ the “female condom,” a plastic sheath that can be inserted in their vaginas and used for protection against HIV. It can be inserted up to 8 hours before sex, has rings at both ends to hold it in place and can be lubricated with oil-based lubricants that stay wet longer. In addition, women can carry conventional condoms for their male partners’ use.
6) If a woman is HIV-positive, her offspring will automatically be born infected with HIV. 6) With no medical treatment taken, about 25% of HIV-positive women will give birth to infants who are also infected. However, the use of anti-HIV medications has resulted in a significant decrease of mother-to-child transmission of HIV in utero and during delivery to less than 5%. (NYT 10/19/ 99].
7) AIDS is fundamentally a gay disease contracted by white males. 7) Recent data compiled by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention indicate that young gay Hispanic and African-American men and heterosexual women are the fastest growing segment of the population being infected with HIV. Women now account for 43% of all HIV infected people over age 15. [NYT 11/24/98] African-American and Hispanic women account for more than 76% of AIDS cases among women in the U.S.
8) Heterosexual men are not really at risk for contracting HIV, even if they don’t use condoms. 8) The inside opening of the penis is composed of highly-absorbent, sponge- like mucous membrane tissues, which can provide a route for HIV-infected vaginal secretions or blood to enter the bloodstream. Proper condom use protects men from infection.
9) The AIDS epidemic is largely over because new AIDS medications like protease inhibitors and others have turned AIDS into a chronic, not a terminal disease. 9) In the U.S., AIDS is the fifth leading cause of death for people 25-44 years old. Roughly half of all those infected with HIV in the U.S. are not receiving any medications or medical care. AIDS now kills more people worldwide than any other infection, including malaria and tuberculosis.[NYT 11/24/98] In 1998 alone, 2.5 million people died of AIDS worldwide. 13.9 million people have died since the virus was discovered in 1981.
10) If you think you’ve been exposed to HIV through unprotected sex, you can take an HIV antibody test 2 weeks later and get an accurate result.
10) The standard “window” or waiting period remains a full 3 months. However, because the widely-used HIV antibody tests (The ELISA and Western Blot) have become so sensitive, about 95% of people will procure an accurate result 4-6 weeks after a possible exposure to the virus.
* * * * [Note:The information stated above was reviewed for medical accuracy by Dr. Todd J. Yancey, an infectious disease specialist practicing in New York City and affiliated with New York Presbyterian Hospital, NY, Cornell Campus.]
THE CHILD LIFE PROGRAM
“Mommy takes a lot of medicine and Mommy’s really tired sometimes and she can’t take you to the park as much as she used to. It’s not that I don’t love you...and that I don’t want to...but Uncle Jack’s going to take you to the park today.” --A mother living with AIDS, a client at GMHC, talking to her 6-year- old son.
In New York City alone, 28,000 children have been orphaned by AIDS since the epidemic began [NYT 12/13/98]
GMHC’s unique Child Life Program serves HIV-infected parents and their children--who may, or may not, be infected with the virus. “We help families strengthen their ability to cope, relieve the pressure of parenting with support services, and teach parents how to talk to their kids,” says Child Life Program Coordinator Alison Ferst. “Unfortunately, should a parent or child be sick enough to be facing death, we also help them walk through it with grace and dignity---as opposed to feeling alone, isolated and frightened.
“We also encourage sick parents to make stable legal plans for their children who may be left behind,” adds Ferst, “and to have disclosure conversations with the children in advance, so you don’t have a child standing at her mother’s funeral, not sure where she’s going next.”
When an HIV-infected Mom arrives at GMHC to have lunch, attend a support group, consult with a lawyer, or access the acupuncture clinic, she can leave her children in a spacious playroom, decorated with fanciful murals and a giant tree hand-painted by the famed children’s story writer and illustrator, Maurice Sendak, who donated his art. [see photos] The program provides: child- sitting, nutrition services, a food pantry, art and magic classes, and recreational trips--church picnics, seasonal apple-pumpkin picking, amusement parks, zoos, museums, beaches. Also: homework help sessions, holiday parties, hospital visits, summer sports and weekly support groups for HIV- positive parents and their HIV-negative children.
This unique program also features: Cooking classes for kids who sometimes prepare meals for sick parents; Pediatric Buddies, GMHC adult volunteers who play with sick children and also assist with family chores; Fun With Feelings Support Group, Friday Evening Family Time, Birthday parties, and a Holiday Gift Drive.
“Children infected or affected by AIDS,” concludes Ferst, “want to be like other kids: They want to play with their friends, want to know that someone will always take care of them, want to know they’re not alone, and often wonder if it’s their fault when Mom or Dad gets sick.” These children need a helping hand and any of us can provide one.
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1. What is a Vasectomy Reversal?
Vasectomy reversal is a microsurgical procedure which restores the flow of sperm through the vas deferens. During the original vasectomy the vas deferens – the tube which carries sperm from the epididymis to the prostate – is cut and clamped. This results in no sperm being present in the semen which is expelled from the penis during ejaculation. A vasectomy reversal involves removing the clamps and stitching the vas deferens together again, (or in a minority of cases actually attaching the vas deferens to the epididymis – a procedure known as a vasoepididymostomy) thereby allowing the flow of sperm once more.
2. How much does a Vasectomy Reversal Cost?
This varies from country to country. In the USA, the price of a vasectomy reversal is anything from between $4000 and $20000. In some cases it may be possible to undergo the procedure under local anaesthetic at the surgeon’s offices rather than having to incur hospital fees. This will reduce the cost to as low as $2500 but is not possible in all cases – ask your surgeon if this is a possibility.
3. What Are the Chances of Success?
This depends on how long ago the original vasectomy was performed. The longer the time lapse the greater the chance of blockage or damage to the vas deferens. However the current level of technological advances in microsurgery means that as many as 97% of men who undergo a straightforward vasectomy reversal experience a return to normal sperm counts and 50% of cases resulted in pregnancy. However, if the original vasectomy occurred 15 or more years ago this figures drop to 71% and 30% respectively.
4. What Things Should I Consider When Choosing A Surgeon?
Make sure you are well informed when deciding on a surgeon for your vasectomy reversal. The relative skill and experience of your surgeon will have a huge bearing on whether or not your operation is successful. Ask the surgeon if he is able to perform a vasoepididymostomy using an operating microscope. This is a crucial question since it is usually only possible to tell whether this more involved surgery will be necessary once your operation is underway.
5. How Long Will It Take After The Vasectomy Reversal To Have A Chance Of Making My Partner Pregnant?
It will be at least 12 months after your procedure that your partner has a chance of becoming pregnant, although statistically most pregnancies occur 2 years after the vasectomy reversal. The best advice therefore would be not to delay the procedure and additionally the longer the time lapse between vasectomy and reversal the less chance of success.
